July 05, 2010

I do not know why i still update my blog when i know nobody reads. Hmm...It doesn't matter if anyone reads or not, i guess. I enjoy reading my own posts. haha. It's like rewriting my destiny. I've been busy so I would only make entries when i feel like it...or rather when i NEED to.

When i'm down i usually would confide in someone. And sometimes I could be misunderstood and things can go quite wrong especially with the opposite gender. Now that im attached, i would pour my innest feelings to him. But i've noticed that pouring everything might lead to bigger bad-feeling. I'm misunderstood most of the time. Like seriously, something is really wrong with the way i expressed myself. I've decided to just c-r-y...I would call him up and...."Can you accompany me? Thnk u." Then i start pouring. Ahh...that is also pouring! Literally;) He would ask what's wrong but i rather not say. Me and words? Bad combination. He would let it go and not bug me for an answer after a few rounds of 'what's wrong'.

However, it's starting to not work on me. I do not feel better after that. For now, keeping to myself seems like a better option. It's very frustrating to not know what's wrong with myself, on top of my own partner.

I just feel like stopping here.

Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir...

1 comment:

Nour El Islaam said...

Salaam~ Came across yr blog...
Sister in Islaam, don't be too sad, you know Allaah is with you c:
And maybe it's a trial right?

Anyway, if the guy you're attached to isn't yet your husband, maybe that's why you don't feel good..?
But whatever it is, try to stay away from what's haraam and stick to what's Halaal, and remember that sometimes it's a test.
May Allaah guide us all, may Allaah help you and make it easier for you c: